Why Meditation?

My first encounter with meditation was buying a book that supposedly was gonna help me to get me into that state where you sit still and no thoughts run through your head and you are all zen. I never finished reading it. I tried, I promise. I was also trying to sit and get those thoughts away, also didn’t happen.

Next was here and there at yoga classes when teachers would do a bit of a guided meditation before or after the class and I did notice that there is something in it. But the strongest one was in India where they taught us a practice of breathing, chanting and sitting still for 21 minutes and told us to do it for 48 days twice a day and then once a day for the rest of my life. I thought, ok, quite army like, but what can I loose from trying it out. And it did resonate, stick with me and showed me how we can really change & teach our body and mind to focus, to sit still and how it becomes in a way automatic, how it asks for the practice every day.

I did it as I was told and I noticed some benefits here and there and I loved having something that is sort of my time, my practice & my thing.

The real experience when I understood that meditation is THE REAL THING… was when I was told my brother had an accident and they didn’t confirm for the first 2 days that he’s going to survive.

That moment with all my knowledge and belief about the power of thought and focus I was doing the most difficult meditation in my life – every time the thought of the worst came in – I’d substitute it with a healing thought and sending all my energy to him to fight.

I was able to keep calm, as calm as one can be thousands of miles away from home and hopeless as one can be when there’s nothing else to do.

He survived.

There are no good and bad emotions – really?

Labels of emotions. How I finally experienced the no label of emotions.


You know they teach you ‘let in all emotions, don’t judge, don’t allow to put a label of just good or bad let it flow, glow and whatever not’. I do that to, I mean I say it to my students and I sort of know what I mean, but just recently I’ve been really experiencing, letting it through me that it’s just an emotion and what I’ve actually labeled as bad is just a ball of energy and in the right direction it can be used as an amazing kick start to move either my body or thoughts and proceed with the right action. Ok, less words, more actions.

So those who have followed me for a while know what happened with my family and my brother this summer so when I was going through all of that I became full of anger, like I could seriously punch so many in the face for saying BS about how this and that move and stretch can make the emotional pain away or help you calming down – no, no, no – at that moment you could have broken my back and none of the emotional pain would have gone away. But I realised one thing, meditation works. And I know I’ve been talking less about it since it’s more deep, intimate, personal and not as main stream and normal and maybe labeled EASY as YOGA is. So you know, I tend to invite you for yoga and then make you meditate 🙂 But this anger made me think, process and speak my truth.


Another time I just got pissed at this person who would on and off text me something like ‘Hi’ ‘how are you’ and yes, I could feel he wanted to genuinely connect and talk but he didn’t have words and I was like, seriously about to text – either say what you really want to say or just stop messaging me. Then, you, know I thought maybe it’s too much and I could just get him away from my messenger with asking something spiritually deep and he’ll disappear (yes, people do vanish because it’s either boring for them, they don’t know how to explain themselves or it’s not entertaining) anyhow, in couple of hours we had the most intense and eye opening and jaw dropping conversation ever. All because I was finally angry enough to speak my truth. Super grateful because I learnt things I’d never learnt in any other way. Even though the person is long gone now, the impact is still there. Once your eyes are open, you can’t go back.


Another day I read this post about wildlife and I know the place and how much heart and soul the person who owns it loves it but their text was so plain, like wikipedia copy paste just to pass the test. So I was like, whatever, I’ll just tell him how shitty it is and write how it could be put down in words to truly convey the meaning of what he wants to say. So I did and he loved it and changed it. And he appreciated.. It’s funny how anger finally makes me speak my truth which is actually valid and helpful.


So yes, feelings are not good or bad, they are pure energy that can be used to create, push things backwards or forward and inspire I suppose.


Where’s your emotions pushing you today?

Fast. Dry Fast. Break the fast.

Came back to Panama and since my amazing flatmate Marce is on keto diet, I thought I should learn too! More or less a week of keto and I’ve been wanting to try the dry fast like for the past few months, but never had the chance since cooking vegan food for the lunch boxes involves tasting food and often the events and this and that. So I thought enough of the excuses and since the moon was also perfect for it – I was like, I’m gonna do it!!!!

Check out more about the moon phases and fasting here: Ekadashi.

So I had my dinner on Thursday, then all day fast on Friday with a little bit of water since I was preparing for the dry fast on Saturday. Hunger wasn’t an issue so much, more like the lack of energy, not to mention I was down with the flu for the past week, but I really, really wanted to do it. Why? Well, they say that fasting rejuvenates body, that healthy cells eat the half alive ones or dead ones and on the dry fast body produces water inside of it which is the highest quality one ever and… also new stem cells can be produced.. and many more things that I mostly learnt while fasting as watching youtube and listening to podcasts was the only exercise I was able to do. Check out more about different fasts here: 4 different Fasts

So Friday went smooth, not too easy at a night out without any food and drink, but you know, once you’re committed, nobody can feed you a thing on a fast!

Saturday was a no food no drink day, there’re two types of dry fasts – one would be not drinking anything, the other, no drinking anything and no contact with water, well, since I was going to the beach was not an option for me.

I wouldn’t say that I felt my best, but I was able to hang out at the beach, jump in a bad handstand for a picture and then hike to waterfalls – to be honest, I thought I won’t make it. The only side effect was a bit of dizziness. No hunger whatsoever – and I suppose it’s because of a keto diet a week before, no sugar – no craving.

In the evening I felt like my heart is gonna jump out of my chest, not because of a fast heartbeat but because of how strongly I could feel it. Not comfortable, checked the heart rate and it was in a normal resting pace. What I read the next morning was that it happens because of the lack of water & salt and something called electrolytes. And it’s a normal thing while fasting, so I wasn’t too worried but it made me uncomfortable.

One idea was to go completely dry fast meaning not touching water all Sunday, but since I was a bit worried about the heart, I thought, ok, next time. I started drinking water and kept watching videos of how to break the fast – one of my main suggestions – don’t even do a fast if you don’t know how to break it – this guy is brilliant and explains it for many different diets as well: How to break a dry fast.

So for me, I had to drink a little bit of water with one hour interval and I wouldn’t say that it changed a lot in how I felt. In 4th hour I had to drink a glass of water with 1/4 tbs of Himalayan salt ( to get those electrolytes/sodium back) and that was a game changer, instantly I felt better, more clear mind, like alive again! So this was one of the great lessons I learnt –  I do need salt and I need to dig deeper to learn more about electrolytes and how to make sure I’m having enough of them.

And then a Chayote soup for dinner, plain, blended, like baby food 🙂 Super yummy and I so appreciated the taste, texture and pleasure of eating again.

So they suggest to do this max every 3 months and next time I’m going hard core dry fast, no beach or shower!

My mini learnings:

there are so many hidden things that can break your fast: for example if you toothpaste has corn in it or coconut oil or any other edible, who on earth would have thought that?!

No fruit after fasting – I always thought a nice slice of papaya would be the best, but not.

Cold brew coffee doesn’t break a fast (I’m not talking about water fast/dry fast) so we are on brewing mission now for our home!

Give yourself as much rest as needed and don’t plan things for the fasting day, fast your brain and keep more into meditation mode for the day, sleep, rest, read, watch videos, podcasts.

Future plans: keep going with intermittent fasting ( 16h no food, 8h window to have meals) as it just gives so much energy in the morning for whatever I need to do ( was super hard this morning since I only had the Chayote soup last night, ok and a bit of a keto cake)

Have one liquid fast day a week or only dinner kind of fast day. And eventually do a dry fast again.

Spiritual side of this: your body becomes less of a problem, no need to think what should I eat and where and what time and is it vegan or keto or whatever, no need to pee so often, no uncomfortable feeling in stomach or anything else going on there. So you basically have more energy to focus on the things that you want to achieve, also your body is working on saving energy so the thought train becomes less active. I had hard times though with sitting in meditation and yoga since I felt super weak ( I think it was a combination of the flu that I had had as I had never been so weak that I had to sleep all day).

Now, Monday, after fast day – woke up energetic, but won’t say that 100% but did my power walk for my heart, yoga & breathing & meditation and then again felt that not so focused mood – so sodium or electrolytes and went to get some coconut water and also some good quality water that has minerals in it. Definitely more mindful and that’s one of the best things about slowing down – now I can feel, hear and observe my body & mind better and adjust to whatever is needed.

Feel free to get in touch with me if you want to know more or need meal plans or you want to change your diet so it supports your lifestyle and your body becomes stronger and more energetic and less of an obstacle.


QOTD: When you reach outside of yourself for that which is within you, it’s very obvious that you do not believe that which is within you. (Robert Bitzer)

Right questions task

My new experiment that I’m polishing and working on while giving it to different people and getting in interesting discussions and mind twisters!

So do it step by step, if you read the next one, it’s just not gonna be so effective and you will switch to a different thinking mode.

Meditation or sitting for a bit in silence/with some relaxing music will help so you are in a more positive and creative space.

Now, the task…

Imagine you are meeting the possible ‘partner for life’ person and you’ve got couple of them lined up and you are allowed to ask 10 questions that are really important to you. But let’s dig a bit deeper, let’s say that questions about Yes or No for kids is already done and that you are in the same religion and maybe even like the same kind of music.

Think about deeper soul kind of space questions you’d ask. Like what makes you alive?

Why do you wake up in the morning?

Do you think you are aligned with your life’s purpose?

Why do you think we are here on this planet?

A bit of unicorn style questions that might not have one answer… but that can tell a lot.

So go, set yourself a timer, maybe 10 to 20 minutes to write down the questions. You can write more than that, but think deep. Think from your heart and soul space.

When you have done, continue reading:








So we all know people come and go, relationships can have white dress wedding days and cried souls divorce signing papers moments. It can be fun, it can be tough. But the only person, only one who is gonna be there always with yourself is YOU. How many dates have you had with yourself? How many hours have you spent with yourself to get to know yourself?

Give yourself that gift of the presence with yourself and do this:

Now, get some paper  and answer these questions for yourself. All, honestly and as much in detail as you can.


Share if you want to, share if you find something new, if you discover an interesting thing about yourself.


Some of my questions:

What’s your life’s purpose, why do you like being alive and what pushes you out of the bed in the morning?

Why do you do the things you do?

How do you make/keep yourself happy?

How do you overcome difficult situations?

How do you express love, frustration, anger?

What’s beyond happiness?

Where would you like to spend all your life if money, time, space wouldn’t be an issue? Why are you not there yet?

Which place would it be, how would your lifestyle be? Your daily routine 🙂

What are the things you don’t compromise on?

Do you like gardening?

Could you be silent with me?

Can we go to India together?

How do you feel most loved? Why?

How/when do you feel taken advantage of? Why?

How do you take care of yourself?

What hurt you deeply and why?

What made the biggest impact on your life?

How do you adapt to changes

What if your plans don’t work out, how do you react?

What could you teach me?

What’s the most exciting place, experience, thing you’d like to share with me?

What do you want to try, experience in the future?

What’s your view on the system of education and banking?

What’s the next big thing?

It’s random, I just wrote them down as I did in my journal. Now, time to write down the answers 🙂




This is how I like greeting people 🙂 No, I haven’t even been to Hawaii but someone once said it means my soul or spirit is greeting yours but I’m not sure if it’s true or not, well, now googling I’ve just found this which totally resonates with me:

Aloha is being a part of all, and all being a part of me. When there is pain – it is my pain. When there is joy – it is also mine. I respect all that is as part of the Creator and part of me. I will not wilfully harm anyone or anything. When food is needed I will take only my need and explain why it is being taken. The earth, the sky, the sea are mine to care for, to cherish and to protect. This is Hawaiian – this is Aloha!

Beautiful, eh?

So here I am, welcoming you into my world of never ending exploring of who I am. I’ve taken life admin, designing my life or just working on finding out who am I besides just the visible quite seriously. From changing my diet and experimenting what is that really fits me, to reading endless books of amazing experiences by enlightened beings to going deep into meditation and yoga practices, switching off to go in silence and exploring those dark corners of my being to floating on clouds and feeling like a light being from practices of gratitude and really, really appreciating the gift of being alive.

I am open to share all of it & teach you practices that I’ve learnt from amazing teachers from all over the world. Because I want you to shine, to become the best version of your being.